An Ode to… is a weekly column where we share the stuff we’re really into in hopes that you’ll be really into it, too.
Twitter is the very definition of “too many cooks in the kitchen,” but breaking the platform down into sections and focusing on your own specific interests makes it significantly more bearable.
People who are passionate about government issues, for example, can follow Politics Twitter. Those looking to promote their businesses in a cheesy fashion can engage with Brand Twitter. And rom-com obsessed hopeless romantics like myself, who aren’t afraid to share their hearts on their timelines, have Crush Twitter.
Now, when I say Crush Twitter, I’m not referring to some creepy online community dedicated to stalking crushes. Crush Twitter is simply a section of social media where people lightly broadcast their crush-related frustrations, make jokes, and empathize with others who understand first-hand how miserable and magical having a crush can be.
For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the term “crush,” it’s defined as “an intense and usually passing infatuation.” The official definition isn’t technically incorrect, but it’s a painfully simplistic summation that fails to capture all the hidden emotional tolls having a crush can take on a person.
As someone who’s had a fair share of crushes over the years, I can say with absolute ambivalence that the experience is a tantalizing and torturous emotional roller coaster. This is a truth that Crush Twitter understands perfectly.
i hate crushes can we get rid of them thanks
— rach (@thankuneedys) February 12, 2019
Wondering whether or not your crush is requited, parsing conversations for subtext, explaining interactions to your friends, and playing an endless loop of potential scenarios in your head are all common parts of a crush. And they’re exhausting, so sometimes releasing a fraction of your frustration — even if it’s by sending a single tweet — can be very therapeutic.
While crush frustration is definitely a go-to topic of discussion on Crush Twitter, the community of brave souls who publicly admit to having crushes also enjoy using humor to make light of relatable crush-related realities, like so.
*clears throat*
if you have a crush on me, you still have 7.5 hours left to send me a heart-shaped pizza tysm
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) February 14, 2019
ANYONE:
ME: oh my god that reminds me of the funniest thing my crush said I told you about him right I’m probably going to marry him— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 30, 2019
the instagram story display order algorithm is so humbling it knows who i have a crush on before i do
— tiffany (@radioheadass) November 28, 2018
the stage of a crush where you try to get someone else to work the crush’s name into conversation simply for the pleasure of not saying it aloud yourself, then not acknowledging you’ve heard the name in any way: A Manifesto
— the other Daniel Mallory Ortberg (@danielortberg) June 4, 2018
Crush Twitter knows crushes are fickle, tricky things, too, so sometimes members also check in with each other by asking some deep questions.
is he cute or are you just trying to fill a void by distracting yourself with a crush
— sai (@Saisailu97) December 11, 2018
you ever look back on a crush and feel truly repulsed by your past self’s choices?
— discount candy wallah (@krutika) December 18, 2018
And of course, Crush Twitter is the perfect place to turn to for advice when the going gets tough.
How do y’all stop crushing on that crush you know you can’t have ?
— N A F I S A T
(@ambergorsky) February 17, 2019
The great thing about Crush Twitter is that it’s open to anyone who needs it, and even celebrities, like Mindy Kaling, have made some amazing contributions over the years.
Man, I have a crush on pretty much everyone.
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) April 15, 2012
There should be a saint for impossible crushes because he or she would be prayed to A LOT
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) May 23, 2016
A small, impossible crush is the best gift you can give yourself
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) August 16, 2016
When you think about it, Crush Twitter is essentially comprised of a bunch of subtweets. But they’re not malicious ones.
Since many people keep the identities of their crushes secret — and oftentimes crushes themselves don’t even know they’re crushes — the source of inspiration behind each crush tweet can rarely be traced back to one particular individual.
While the term “crush” carries so much weight and can easily be used as shorthand to refer to one specific individual in conversation with friends, without any context the word is vague. So rather than serving as obvious, pointed digs designed to call out the object of one’s affection, crush tweets are crafted in such a way that they broadly appeal to anyone who’s ever had a crush.
Even the official Twitter account recognizes Crush Twitter, though they don’t quite get it. On several occasions the account has tried to partake in public crush discussions by prompting users to reveal the names or handles of their crushes. But that’s not Crush Twitter’s style.
Your first celeb crush (make it good, they could be
— Twitter (@Twitter) February 12, 2019
Crush Twitter is committed to anonymity, and for anyone who’s ever had a crush it will serve as a relatable, cathartic, and hilarious online safe haven.
from Just News Viral http://bit.ly/2V6ztSM
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